Sorry this post is just for the mommies, but I really need some advice. There are just so many things to figure out that I figure you can share with me what you already know and, I'm sure, have a strong opinion about. So, here we go.
Do I really need a basinet, crib and a pack-in-play? What is the deal here?
The stroller question. To travel system, or not to travel system. What are your thoughts?
Is a cheaper crib from Target or Wal-mart just as good as a full hard wood crib? What are the benefits of spending the extra money?
Getting to know your doctor...what are questions I shoud be asking to make sure we are a good fit?
Anything I can be doing now to prepare for breastfeeding, parenting a baby and/or really just surviving this time of life?
Thanks ladies! Just comment on anything you feel so inclined to comment on. Happy Thanksgiving!!!
19 comments:
Lots of answers...and I bet it will be long...here goes!
Bassinet - NO NO NO
Crib - Yes
Pack-n-Play - YES YES YES. It serves the purpose of the not needed bassinet, you can travel with it, have an extra place for visiting kiddos to sleep, an extra place for your baby to sleep if you also use their bedroom as your sewing room (like I do right now) etc. It is my most valuable piece of baby equipment. Get a fairly basic one with a "bassinet insert" (to bring the level higher instead of near the floor) for when they are little. You don't need extra attached changing table (dumb) or attached mobiles or crud. Basic is best. But with the mentioned bassinet insert.
Strollers/carseat system - I have bought mix and match pieces that will work together, not necessarily as a matched set. I am weird like that. I don't like all matchy matchy stuff. But having a stroller where you can place the carseat into it - extremely valuable, system or not. I currently have a Chicco key fit 30 and the Chicco trevi stroller. LOVE both. Though the Key fit 30 (and Graco's new 30 lb seat) are heavier than their 20 lb predecessors so keep that in mind.
Crib - I splurged on our crib ($6-700 or so) and it is a white slightly girly sleigh crib. I hedged my bets that it would last me through several kiddos. So far it has. But, I had a caster break and the white paint finish did start to yellow. So, a lot of $$ does not a perfect crib make. Seriously, I would buy a nice used one. Nina just sold hers for $90 that she bought used for $75!! Also, I am not a fan of the selling point of the ones that turn into a full size bed headboard. Come on, we are Mormon mommies - it will never spend time as a bed because it will be a crib for years to come!
Doctor - my doctor doesn't talk much. I think I had the most conversations ever combined total while we were prepping for c-section #3. But, he is chief of staff, most of the nurses at the hospital go to him as their personal doc (and I figure they would know who is best) so I feel confident. You could get to know if he/she plans to deliver or whoever is on call will deliver. My doc does everything possible to make sure he delivers and not someone else.
Prepare/breastfeeding/etc. Know it will be a big change and it is hard but so worth it. Know that no matter how many people tell you breastfeeding is natural and shouldn't hurt, it does (or at least can) at first. I have done this with 3 babies. Each took different times getting good at feeding. It can take several weeks to get a good rhythm with your baby. Don't give up and be patient. It is worth it. Start pumping and giving your baby a pumped bottle early, like 2-3 weeks. Nipple confusion is a myth (I really read this recently so it is not just my theory). If your baby learns to take a bottle, you can be baby-free if needed for 5-6 hours. You can go on a date night. You can go to the temple. Possibilities are endless. If not, you are tied to the baby every 2-3 hours.
Pacifiers are good. My first 2 took them. Kate played with hers and gave it up. Some how, when we went on vacation, I brought one just in case and she decided she liked it again.
If you are feeling good, enjoy being pregnant! I really love being pregnant (except for the heart burn and swelling and pregnant butt but maybe you will be lucky and have none of that!) If you want, you are welcome to come shop my maternity bin. I have some cute things. this is a good thing to do - it is expensive to buy new stuff. Oh, and make your own clothes last as long as possible. It seems so exciting to get into the new maternity clothes but you will get sick of them near the end so hold off as long as possible. regular long layering t-shirts work well while pregnant - I hardly wore maternity shirts until the very end with Kate. There are so many styles of regular clothes right now that are forgiving while pregnant.
Anyway, have I said enough yet? We are so excited for you guys!!! Oh, and make sure David gains some weight too. A) he is skinny and B) it is only fair.
Love ya!
Meredith
Maybe you shouldn't have asked "everyone" since I'm particularly passionate about the whole mommy-thing. :) But here's my two cents, take it for what it's worth. Ignore whatever you want of it. Here goes:
crib, bassinet, p-n-p...I think the importance of these depends on where he/she will sleep for the first few months. A bassinet is usually where you put the baby if they're in your room next to your bed and you don't want something huge like your crib taking up space in your room. BUT a pack-n-play (with bassinet attachment) is just as good in my opinion. Okay, truthfully, an empty drawer with a blanket inside is just as good too and a whole lot cheaper, but most people think I'm crazy for suggesting that option. I personally feel the bassinet is unnecessary. A pack-n-play is really nice to have if you travel a lot. And honestly, you don't need a crib---you could just use a pack-n-play and call it good. I think that if you get all three, you're just wasting money.
Stroller: the travel system is nice, but only necessary for the first few months while the baby can't sit up on his/her own. Buy a baby carrier and carry him/her for those first few months and you don't have to buy the expensive system AND you get a little more exercise to try to get back to pre-pregnancy weight. (Though it wouldn't be saving a ton of $ if you invest in a good, expensive carrier).
Ummm, if you couldn't tell, I'm all about cheaper. I don't think quality of the cheap cribs at Target are much (if any) worse than the really expensive ones. Unless you're worried about matching furniture and want your baby's room to be posh, don't spend hundreds on the crib. My friend spent over $400 for hers and her as her son was teething, he chewed on the railings and made it look really tacky.
I'm not going to touch on the doctor subject because I have a whole load of opinions there. :)
As for preparing yourself for breastfeeding, well, what my mom told me before I had kids was to take a nail brush and in the shower rub it really hard over your nipples (am I allowed to say that???) until they're raw Then you'll be ready. Haha! Cause honey, it hurts just about like that...but only for a few weeks. :) Honestly, though, the best thing I ever did was invest in a good breast pump. You never know what your milk supply will be like and it's nice to be able to pump milk for someone else to feed him/her sometimes.
Have I said too much? Anyways, I'm excited for you and David! It's so fun being a parent. You'll both love it! Good luck!!
You don't need a bassinet. If you are breastfeeding it makes sense to have something smaller for the little baby to sleep in next to your bed. So I am all for the pack-n-play with the bassinet insert.
I would get a stroller/car seat combo. It is really good for when you are shopping in the mall or going for walks. Plus it is cheaper to get them together.
We bought our crib from Wal-Mart. And I have no complains.
I have has 3 OBGYN's and only like 2 of them. We moved half way through me first pregnancy with Bode and I am so glad we did. Just make sure you can talk to you doctor with out feeling like your time isn't worth it. The doctor that delivered Bode was great, and I am really liking my doctor now. I know they both had a million patients to see, but the both made me feel like my pregnancy was important. The first doctor I had was so impersonal and cold.
Not going to lie. Breastfeeding is hard. Just be prepared to give up a lot of your time at first to get all the bugs worked out. My biggest advice is to not feel like a failure if it doesn't work out and you don't breastfeed. You will know what works for you, your baby and your family. Definitely get lansonal(sp)cream.
The best burp cloths are cloth diapers. I hated thin burp cloths that didn't clean up anything and just soaked through.
There is a ton of baby stuff out there. You will find what works for you guys.
Before I go off because I'm SUCH a pro (what a joke!), here's a link to the same post I did when I was pregnant. I got some really good resonses and you might like some of the advice that I got:
http://householderfamily.blogspot.com/2007/11/i-need-some-more-help-from-you-moms.html
And I just want to say, what's good for some may not be good for you. I could give you all of my advice and maybe none of it will apply to you, and I'm ok with that. That said...
I love love love my pack n play. I use it all the time still, even though we have a crib. You'll use it every time you travel anywhere, or even when you take your baby to a baby-sitter. It's a must have in my opinion. I wanted to buy the most expensive kind and now I'm glad I didn't. Looking back I should've bought the most basic kind, like Meredith was saying.
I JUST bought a crib a month ago, when Ellie was 5 months old. You don't need one right away. She slept in the pack n play next to my bed until I felt comfortable moving her into her own room. The crib I bought is from Walmart. It was like $200 and it's really nice. I would just say, read all of the reviews so you know what you're getting.
I bought a travel system, and it's convenient when I use it, but I haven't gotten my money's worth. I hardly use the stroller. I think that one just depends on how much you think you'll use it, which in my case is not that often. I did love my Baby Bjorn carrier though. It's pricey. Buy one off of Craigs list if you're going to buy one. Ok, that's one thing I wish I would've done... bought more used stuff. There's this store called Once Upon a Child on Baseline/Val Vista in Mesa. They sell nice used baby items for a good discount.
Some people love it, some people hate it... but for me the book Babywise was a MUST HAVE!! People call it hyper scheduling, but really it's not. It just helps you understand when your baby needs to eat vs. when they need to sleep so you actually have a clue why they're crying. I took what I liked out of it and it saved us. I would highly recommend reading it when you're about 7 or 8 months prego.
Along the lines of breastfeeding, I seriously hated it for the first 3 months, and now I love it. So hang in there! And I would suggest renting or buying a breast pump so that you don't feel completely tied down. It's really nice to have for Sundays or anytime you know you'll be out and about when your babe needs to eat. If it hurts like crazy in the beginning, ask your nurse at the hospital for a nipple shield. They'll know what you're talking about. Sometimes they won't give them to you, but I've heard that lots will. It saved me. It just goes over your nipple and the baby sucks on that. It keeps you from cracking and getting really sore. I love it.
Lastly, sleep A LOT!! People told me this and I'm glad I took their advice. There are so many exciting and fun things with a new baby. Your new sleep schedule is not one of them! Just enjoy sleeping in when you can. Take naps if that's something you normally do. Oh the days of sleep! Haha. It's worth it though.
Wow, yah, you got the gist here. Meredith is an awesome and experienced mom - go have lunch and shop a bit with her! I would... I TOTALLY would. Veteran mom's are the BEST.
Bassinets - boo. THey don't get used - hence you will find a ton at DI "gently used."
Mer and I have the same baby seat - after 3 kids I wised up and got one that was WASHABLE. Leather is nice, but will burn your kids legs.
Your kid will be like others in many ways and unlike others in even more. Some like pacifiers and swings, and some don't. That doesn't mean that they won't be able to do long division later in life.
You will do just fine either way and be an expert *snap* like that - on your own kid. Breastfeeding is a whole ballgame in and of itself. Make some good boob friends. I had Stacy McVicker come over and help me out the day I got home from the hospital with Sam (and a spinal headache)- boobs hanging out and screaming newborn and all. She is awesome, didn't bat an eye AND she's a nurse.
Oh - and depending on your relationship with your Mother in Law, watch out. Mine showed up before I even left the hospital with my first baby. I came home with stitches, achy boobs, tears, a newborn, and a GUEST.
Wanting to at least LOOK like a competent mom and spouse, it was a DISASTROUS time for her to be there. Hormones amadre. Crying, yelling in foreign languages behind closed doors, and hurt feelings all around. Bad juju. Baaaad. I think a MONTH is enough time to "even out" before letting anyone other than your mom in the house overnight.
A couple more thoughts...
I got my latest Baby Bjorn carrier at Good will for $6. It was in perfect condition.
BUT I am now a huge proponent of slings - I have a Peanut Shell pouch sling and LOVE it. I carried Katers as a newborn laying in it, could nurse in it and walk on the beach with my family or hike in North Carolina. She can now sit up in it and I walked all over disneyland with her sitting up enjoying the sights and then nestled down to nurse...while still walking all over disneyland. I chopped all the onions and mushrooms for HFPE with her in the sling on my back. It is the best. I had to get over my granola earth mother baby wearing fears but I love it.
Can't say enough about how much I love my sling.
Way to be prepared!!
I had a bassinet with Rhylan. It was given to me or i probably wouldn't have gotten one. It was a travel one that was right on the floor. It was nice to have when she was being babysat at my sisters house because it was easy to fit in the back seat. But I bought a pack and play for travel now that she is bigger. I plan one using this for my next baby as a bassinet. Rhylan was in her crib and in her own room by one month, so I didn't use it that long. My crib was from walmart and is just fine.
I love my travel system. She was usually asleep by the time we got anywhere, it was nice to just cover the car seat with a blanket and put her in the stroller without waking her up. Also I hated hauling around the 20 lb diaper bag. It was so easy to just put it in the bottom of the stroller. Also, when we would get home from grocery shopping or running around, i could lift out her car seat and just put it in her room while she was still asleep!
You will learn really really fast that sleep is number 1!! (for both of you)
Okay...just remember you asked for it! :)
Bassinet - don't waste your money. They will outgrow it by 2-3 months. I have never had one and we've been fine.
Crib - a must have. A cheaper one is fine - ours has lasted 3 kids. Kids beat stuff up (and chew on it), so don't waste your money on an expensive one. And I agree with Meredith...don't bother with the convert-to-bed models if you plan on having more than one kid!
Pack & Play - a must have. A cheaper one with no frills is fine. We got the expensive Eddie Bauer one and it wasn't worth the extra money. Pack & plays are great for when you're traveling or for when other kids come over and need a nap. Also, as others have mentioned, it can be used as a bassinet with the insert.
Stroller/Travel System - a must have. In hindsight - here's what I'd do. Go to Babies R Us where they have like 300 kinds. Go to each one, lift the carrier, do the buckles, and pretend it has 20+ extra pounds of wiggly baby in it. See which one is EASY and FUNCTIONAL and LIGHTWEIGHT. We got the expensive Eddie Bauer model before Brandon was born (seeing a theme here? Kevin HAD to have the fancy stuff). I hated it. It was bulky and the buckles were impossible to do.
Swings - my kids loved theirs. In hindsight, I'd probably get one of those smaller, portable ones though. They're cheaper & they take up less room.
I've never used a sling. They scare me. I hated my front carrier - it hurt my back. My kids got huge fast, so these never worked for me for very long. Though I've heard the expensive Baby Bjorn ones are better. We loved our hiking backpack, though (for when they get a bit older). Not necessarily for hiking, just for being able to hold & entertain a fussy baby while I need to get stuff done. I have cooked many meals and vacuumed my house a lot with babies in the backpack.
I've already given you all my doctor/hospital advice.
Breastfeeding - If you can do this, great. It will save you tons of money in formula. But don't feel like a failure if you can't. I hated it & was never comfortable nursing in public. I got over the guilt and decided to enjoy life and my babies on a bottle. They are all happy & healthy & smart.
Maternity clothes - buy used or borrow (you are welcome to any of mine - I have tons). And I agree with Meredith - don't wear them until you have to. You'll be very sick of them after months in them!
If you're comfortable buying used stuff, definitely check out the thrift stores or used children's stores. They have some great deals. Most stuff can be washed or disinfected.
Read lots, but don't always try to "go by the book". This was one of my biggest mistakes as a first-time parent. Babies and parents are all very different. Do what feels best for you, depending on your baby's personality. Most importantly, use your instincts and the Spirit as your guide.
Bassinet, no, crib and pack n play, yes. most pack n plays come with a bassinet attachment, and I used that for my daughter as her regular crib til she was 15 lbs. which means you can wait on initially buying the crib if you want/need to. And anytime we went anywhere, we had a crib. It's very nice. You don't need many more bells and whistles on it, just something practical.
I didn't get a travel system because my mom bought my car seat for me w/o it and i got a stroller shell that attached to my seat until my girl got old enough to use a folding stroller. It was cheaper in the long run but i've used my friends travel system...and it's worth it if you go that way.
My one piece of advice on the crib...if you plan on having kids relatively close together, like 1,2,or 3 years apart, don't go for those 4 in 1 deals. You are going to need that crib over and over and those work to grow with your kid...but then you'd be buying a new crib with each kid. Might as well buy a bed for the older and use your crib for each newer one.
I switched doctors from my first one, mostly cause I had a bad hospital experience and my first doctor only works at that hospital. Sometimes you really luck out and i like my new one better actually.
preparing is something that comes more natural than you think. We women are natural mothers and from what i know of you, you are going to be wonderful. Breastfeeding sometimes is really easy for some and takes a few days for others to get it, but just don't give up. I've had friends that just thought that "oh, i'll do formula too...this is too much work." but it's worth it.
I always say, no one knows your kid like you do. their wants, needs, etc. Not even your mother. My brother took my daughter during a tantrum and they passed her around for about an hour while I had to run to get my husband from work one day. No one could calm her down, and he tried everything. But once dad and mom came home, she was willing to be comforted, take a binky, etc. they just don't know them as well, and my bro has 5 kids. SO if you feel like something is right, do it. I hate contradicting advice, so use your best judgement when it comes to what to give your child.
Hey Kelly!!! I wouldn't get a bassinet and a crib. We just bought a pack and play for Grady and we used that as a bassinet until he was about 4 months and then we put him in his crib. Plus, a pack and play is really convenient for traveling.
I absolutely love our travel system. Especially when Grady was a newborn and would fall asleep in his car seat when we were out. We wouldn't have to get him out of the carseat and wake him up to put him in the stroller. WE would just have to transfer the whole carseat to the stroller. But, word of advice...get a car seat that is light weight!!! Our car seat is on the heavier side and when you add a 20 lb. 6 month old it gets ridiculously heavy.
As far as breastfeeding goes...Grady would have none of it!! Silly boy!! But at first when I was trying to breasfeed pumping was difficult. My advice on pumps would be to rent one first to make sure you like it before you buy one because they can get really expensive. Banner Desert has a really good lactation center that provides pumps for rental (get the Medela, it's the best), also they have classes and Lactation nurses who can help you with breastfeeding if you run in to problems.
DO NOT buy clothes until after your babyshowers!!! I know it is hard to resist, but I ended up with so many newborn clothes it wasn't even funny. And Grady was such a big nrewborn he grew out of all of them with in a month. I also recommend registering for your baby shower so you get what you like a need.
That's all the advice I can think of right now. Let us know if you hav any other questions.
Hey Kelly! 3 kids later I am learning more and more with each one. I would buy one of those bassinets/packnplay things, they have a bassinet on the top for when they are under 15 lbs and then you can use the pnp for later when they are bigger or traveling which is convinent. I would spend the money on a nice crib. We bought a 4in1, crib, toddler bed, bed and then queen bed headboard. I love our crib. It is real wood, which I would go for. Your kids are going to trash it and spend the money to get a nice one and you can always sand it out and restain it whatever color you want. Worth the money. Stroller/carseat, I love my carseat it is a baby trend car seat and it comes with a jogging stroller (if you prefer those). I got mine in lime green and it is awesome. I love the latch sysytem and it has 5 point harness and it is easy to adjust the straps while they are inside of it. Just the best carseat ever!! I would recommend getting 2 bases if you have 2 cars that the baby is going to be going in and out of both cars pretty often. Then you don't have to take out the base and put in the opposite car each time. Worth it!
Breastfeeding, do it! I have done it with all 3 kids and it is great. Great for bonding and cheaper as well. Helps you loose all that baby weight as well. Kate I had a hard time but we stuck through it and it has gotten easier each time. Jayson bought me a nice medela breat pump and it was so worth the couple hundred dollars. I had a hand pump for about 2 weeks until mine got here and it was so difficult. If you don't want to buy one, you can always rent one at the hospital and see if you like it or not. I also enjoy the health benefits of breastfeeding for me as well as the baby. I breastfed kate until she was 13 months and Mia 8 months (i would have done it till a year but we went to australia and my parents watched the girls and I ran dry after not feeding her as often, I still feel guilty for giving her formula), Preston 4 1/2 months and I hope to make it till a year old. I have to drink tons of water and have had to take some supplements to get a more fullfilling supply but it is worth it. He is a healthy, chunky baby. I still feed my kids bottles, I just pump milk and let Jayson feed them, it is good for them to do both, I think. It is good for Jayson to help out with feeding as well. There are tons of lacatation specialist who can help you when you are in the hospital as well as being at home. Use the resources. It hurts the first couple weeks but after that it does get better. Just endure and it will be a great outcome either way.
My first DR gave me a book, tells you what you should be expecting and all that fun stuff and you can write it all down for you and if you have any questions as well. Very helpful. Ask for one or you can find them on the internet as well, they are usually free through the hospitals. I found reading "What to expect, when you are expecting" a great book with the first kid. It was so helpful and knowing what changes your body is going through and how you are going to feel. Just great! Ask questions all the time to the DR, that is what they are there for and getting paid for. They do it so much they don't think to ask you basic things that might cause concern but just ask them anything and everything. Don't be afraid, I have had to learn that. :)
Maternity clothes, I love buying them and wearing them. I have collecting my share the past 4 years. It is nice to wear pants that are comfortable and expand to your belly. Motherhood is a great place to go that is afforadable and cute. I wouldn't spend too much on clothes, but if you find it on sale, buy it. I bought some belly bands on ebay that were great. I could wear them when I was still wearing my clothes but they were getting a bit too tight and I just put that under my shirt and it looks like an under shirt and it works great. They have tons of colors to choose from.
I hope that helps. I love the pregers to mommy phase of life. It has been great each and everytime. I learn something new with everyone that I have had. I am so happy for you. It is such an amazing blessing, enjoy it all. Write stuff down in your journal or somewhere, how you are feeling what things are changing, I forget and it is nice to go back and read about them. Journal about your kids and their stages of life, it is fun to look back and see what they did and when they did it. Just great memories! Love ya!
Ok, here is the advice coming from the non-mother, but being a WIC employee I thought I would put the good word in for breastfeeding! Of course my advice is all text book and researched based and not coming from any personal experience :) Anyway, I have been to many conferences on breastfeeding. Not not only is the milk amazing for the baby but just the fact that you are havin skin-to-skin contact with the baby while you are breastfeeding is a big benefit developmentally to your baby. I am seriously amazed by the research done by this guy http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/index.htm (Dr. Nils Bergman). And yes, it probably will be frustrating at first. I know lots of mother who get raw and kind of chapped. There are helpful things like Lansinoh cream or gel pads. If it is really painful, it is most likely a latch problem. You want the baby's mouth to be wide open when he latches on (like when you bite into a hamburger). You also want to look at his lips to see if they are like fishy lips. Try to hold off offering the bottle for the first few weeks to help establish the breastfeeding relationship. Oh and as for your doctor, our lactation consultant suggest asking how the Dr. feels about breatfeeding. If they are not very supportive of it then they won't be very supportive of it if you are having problems breastfeeding. Anywho, I could go on and on. One more word of advice. Wait until the baby is 6 months to introduce solids...at least that what the latest research and the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests. Now let's just see if I follow all these "rules" when I am actually a mom!! ha ha.
Hey Congratulations on the pregnancy!! Here's my opinion.. I used a bassinet with Jocelyn for a few months until I was ready to put her in her own room. (that was a hard transition). We got our crib at target for $100 and it is so cute! It is really sturdy. We have a travel system and it worked great especially those first few months when they are in their carrier all the time anyway. You can put your baby from the car seat to the stroller without ever waking him or her up. It's great. Hope this helps!!
looks like you already have tons of advice so I will make mine short and sweet!
Get a pack n play with the bassinett insert - I used the bassinet only for like 2-3 weeks then my baby was in his crib in his own room because he was a noisy sleeper and I slept much better when he was in his own room because beware - your hearing will become PERFECT and you will hear everything! lol!!
I did not go with the stroller combo - as I had a car seat given to me so I got the baby trend snap and go - $50 at babies r us. It's amazing..small..light and very easy to put up and down one handed. LOVE IT!!
Crib- My sister gave me hers - so I'm not a pro there...
Breastfeeding - it was hard for the first couple of months - but especially hard the first 2 weeks!! But it get's easier and easier everytime. I love breastfeeding now. It gives us one on one time and it is so fast now. But the first few months it takes awhile to get used to it, it hurts, and it takes up your whole day, but it is so worth it. Get a good movie and watch it while you feed! or tv! helps the time go faster.
You will do awesome and when your baby arrives you will realize that you really didn't need all that much for the baby besides a place to sleep, diapers, wipes, clothes and blankets. and of course LOVE!!
Ok so here goes! My opinion on what worked for me.
No on the Bassinet and YES on the Pack-n-play with the bassinet insert. I loved mine. I have two actually. One is average size with a bassinet insert and my other one is a little on the bigger side. My 3yr old can still sleep in it perfectly fine. We still use it on trips or if she is sick, we set it up in my room.
I would recommend a stroller/carseat combo. It is so nice especially when they are sleeping to just move the carseat to the stroller.
As far as a crib goes I would get one that you really like. I would actually get a set that you really like(crib, dressor/changing table, hutch). Being as how this is your first and you will probably want to use it for the rest of your kiddos. I have a dressor that is also a changing table with a hutch on top. My kids never chewed on the crib or anything like that. Some people don't care about how the baby's room looks as long as it is practical, but I like to have a cute nursery. I would also get a good mattress so you can use it with all your kids as well and also because I have read that you should use a hard and good mattress to help prevent SIDS.
OK, so breastfeeding is hard. I had a hard time with 3 out of my 4 kids. I was determined to breast feed, so I think the key is don't give up, cause it will get better and easier. Before you know it you will be a pro. Once I got over the sore nipples and getting the baby to latch on and actually eat and not fall asleep it was fine. I even had to go see one of those lactation ladies for help with one of my kids. Once you get the hang of it, it is great. I breastfed all four of my kids for the first twelve months. I wouldn't recommend giving the baby the bottle for the first couple of weeks. For a couple of reasons.
1st- The bottle is easier, so if you give them the bottle right away they will get lazy and not want to latch on and nurse. 2nd- you are trying to establish a good milk supply, the more your baby nurses the more you will produce. I would definitley recommend an electric breast pump, the one that pumps both breasts at the same time (medela pump is my favorite).
Anyway that is my advise on what worked for me. Good luck!
breast feeding was really hard for me. i just couldnt get the little guy to latch on, of course i had mall security and his mother chasing a screaming after me at the time. so looking back that might have been the source of the problem.
congrats on the baby kelly!
i aim to please :)
I also think cribs are unnecessary. You will get the most use from a Pack n play. My suggestion is to DEFINITELY get the basic Graco. The other brands just don't fold and lock as nicely.
Travel system - I'm a "no" on this one. I believe in wearing your baby and keeping them out of the car seat as much as possible though. I know too many people who have babies with flat heads because they are constantly in their car seats. I recommend a cheap stroller for the necessary outings, and a good baby carrier. My favorite is the Beco Butterfly carrier, or a Moby Wrap. If you have a second baby, your single stroller will become practically useless anyway - save your money for a nice double stroller in the future. You might not be "in" to babywearing though - so take that advice with a grain of salt.
I recommend the book, "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth." I LOVE birth and had my 3 naturally. I don't believe that it is for everyone, but I DO believe that you should research birth, become educated, and decide what your personal birth philosophies are. Then make choices that honor your own philosophy. That will make for the most enjoyable birth for YOU. Ask your friends about their birth philosophies and when you find someone who has similar ideas to yours, find out who their doctor was. Chances are, you'll get the best doctor based on recommendations.
Crib - if you DO buy a crib (fine choice, just not necessary) I wouldn't buy something expensive. I have a hand-me-down Pottery Barn crib from a friend and I don't think it's any better than my cheaper one. Look on Craigslist but just make sure it meets safety standards. I wouldn't splurge on a new crib.
Don't gather a bunch of "gear". I would see if you have any friends who would let you borrow some of theirs that is collecting dust. I'm SURE someone has a swing you could borrow for 3 months (because babies grow out of swings pretty soon after that.) It will help you decide which things are most valuable to have when you have a second baby without collecting a bunch of junk or wasting your money.
Jenny
Oh, and when it comes to buying a car seat - be aware of the height limit on the individual seats. Most (when I bought mine) had a limit of 26" in height. My son was taller than that by 6 months. He had to switch to a convertible carseat then. I know they make some now that go up to 29" or 30" which would help you get more use out of them. You might even make it a full year in one with those limits. If you make it the full year, then you would be able to buy a front-facing car seat without needing a convertible car seat to transition between the two. (That sounds confusing).
Admittedly, I am aware that rear-facing is safest for as long as possible. I know many people who keep their children rear-facing for 3 years, so if you are in that school of thought, then you'll need a convertible car seat anyway. I know - too much talking.
:)
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